portraits of motherhood {oak park portrait photographer, family photos oak park, il}
“Motherhood is a choice you make every day, to put someone else's happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is...and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.”
― Donna Ball
Do me a favor and stop what you're doing (I know you just started reading this blog & now I'm asking you to stop reading...stick with me...or not?).
Take a look around your home and your Facebook/Instagram pages.
When you look through the images that tell your story, how do they make you feel?
Here's a better question: When your kids are older and they look back on these same photos (I hope you printed them...), how will it make them feel? Will the story make sense or will there be huge gaps?
For somebody who takes up so much space in our hearts and lives, moms are suspiciously absent from our photos.
When you look through the photos in your home and on your social media accounts, how many include mom? My hope is that mom is in a lot of photos, but realistically, mom doesn't make too many appearances. I'm sure there are a million reasons why, including the fact that mom is usually the one behind the camera.
"So when all is said and done, if I can’t do it for myself, I want to do it for my kids. I want to be in the picture, to give them that visual memory of me. I want them to see how much I am here, how my body looks wrapped around them in a hug, how loved they are."-Allison Tate
I think that quote pretty much sums up how I feel about mamas getting in the frame. Do yourself a favor and read the whole piece. It's a quick read, but maybe it will help give you the nudge you've been needing!
The Mom Stays in the Picture
I always try to make sure that my sessions include a few frames with just mom & kids, but I also offer a few mini sessions during the year that are only for mothers & kids. Any of the portrait sessions I offer can be Motherhood sessions, but since mom's tend to prioritize everyone but themselves, I like to give you the option to do something that is only for YOU. It's in the title, so it's just for MOM! Maybe you hadn't considered it before or maybe you just needed "permission"...
Whatever reason you've been using for not being in photos, can we agree that there is a huge reason why you need to put that aside & get in the frame?
Our kids need to be able to see that we were there...we are/were part of the story. Part of their story.
So, whether you want to book a session that's especially for you or you want to book a regular session, just make sure that you grab a few frames with just you and the kids or just YOU. Why not?
*this blog post was originally posted March 25, 2019. All images and session dates have been updated for 2020*
a month of mamas: days 28-31 {oak park photographer interrupted!}
“There are invisible lines
connecting everything together,
and I am particularly fond of
the one that connects me to you.” -Brian Andreas
I realize that it’s June 3 and May is behind us…
Speaking of being behind, I dropped the ball in keeping up with my “month of mamas”, which is not surprising as I’ve been killing it over here, doing all the momming! LOL, as they say…
So, today I will talk about something that I don’t enjoy talking about: myself.
I’m a woman. I’m a photographer. I’m a creative. I’m a mom. I’m a daughter. I’m a wife. I’m a friend.
I try to do all these things and I don’t always do them well. Every day, my goal is to do better than the day before.
I have good days and great days and bad days and sad days.
My motivation to create is sometimes off the charts. Some days though, it is barely noticable.
The struggle is real…every day and in every way. But I wouldn’t change a thing…
Today, I celebrate the fact that I made it through the weekend on barely any sleep, shot a 10 hour wedding on Saturday, spent all day Sunday (11am-7pm) watching my boys play their sports ball of choice: T-ball & Baseball, respectively.
I celebrate the fact that, after that weekend, my entire family woke up at 7:45am (in a full blown panic) but I still made breakfasts (to go), lunches, and managed to send them out the door fully clothed and ready to kick ass (not literally, I hope).
After the morning chaos, I met with 1 of my partners at our new space and went over floor plans and general business stuff and I had tacos for lunch. #winning
How about you? Are you celebrating yourself today?
a month of mamas: days 25, 26, and 27 {oak park photographer, oak park photo sessions}
“You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
What mood is that?
Last-minute panic.”
― Bill Watterson
So. My goal of posting a month of mamas has gone pretty smoothly. There have been a couple of late entries & some combining of days, but all in all…I’m feeling pretty good about mostly keeping up with it.
This year has been my busiest and for that, I thank you kindly! Blogging has never been something that I have consistently kept up with because I am a photographer first and all of the other stuff gets done when I am able to manage it.
In a perfect world, I am able to do all the things: shoot an amazing session, edit the session in record time, post a blog that is engaging and witty and maybe brings a tear to one’s eye…lather, rinse, repeat. All while being the best mom, wife, and friend that I hope to be.
In the world I currently inhabit, aka “the real world”, I work full time running my business and have 2 young boys, a husband, and a dog who all need my attention. At this very moment, my 6 year old is telling me about his Beyblades (is that how you spell it?) and I’ve had to stop typing multiple times and re-read the same sentence at least 20 times.
Since the end of April/beginning of May, we’ve also added T-ball/baseball to our rotation. This consists of 2 kids in 2 different locations (sometimes on the same day) for 2-5 days a week.
Let us not forget the end of school chaos. It feels like a years worth of activities and celebrations are stuffed into the month of May. I know that this must be a survival tactic for teachers, but it is A LOT for parents, working or otherwise.
This is my life. Sometimes stuff falls through the cracks. I would probably call myself an “okay-ish” mom, wife, and friend…but I try. I really do.
All of this to say…I’m “cheating” a little but I want to continue my month of celebrating mamas!
So, here’s to the mamas who are doing their best everyday! I salute you! I am you! We are the same!
a month of mamas: day 24 {oak park family photo sessions}
“You don't have favourites among your children, but you do have allies. ”
― Zadie Smith
To the mamas who love without condition, even on the days when it’s really hard (and we all have those days, right?)…
a month of mamas: day 23 {oak park family photo sessions}
“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”
― Marcel Proust
Wishing this beautiful mama a happy birthday!
a month of mamas: day 22 {oak park family photo sessions}
“The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.”
― Dorothy Parker
To the mamas who know the days are long but the years are short…
a month of mamas: day 21 {oak park family photographer}
“My mom smiled at me. Her smile kind of hugged me.”
― R.J. Palacio
To this mama who does ALL THE THINGS but always has a smile, a hug, a shoulder, or a lap for her babies (and her friends!)…and she does it with very little sleep!
a month of mamas: day 20 {oak park family photo sessions}
“Mothers are all slightly insane.”
― J. D. Salinger
To the mamas who are warriors…holding it all together…
a month of mamas: day 19 {oak park family photo sessions}
“Motherhood brings you to your knees in a way that doesn't leave room for you to judge others. It makes you see that there's no ideal - a constant struggle, constantly compromising, but ultimate love.”
- Maggie Gyllenhaal
To the beautiful mamas with smart mouths and a wicked sense of humor…(my favorite kind!)
a month of mamas: day 18 {oak park family photo sessions}
“Becoming a mom to me means that you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.”
-Nia Vardalos
To the mamas who carry their sticky purses with style and grace…
a month of mamas: day 16 & 17 {oak park family photo sessions}
“Art is the child of nature in whom we trace the features of the mothers face.”
― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
To the mighty mamas raising mighty girls…
a month of mamas: day 15 {oak park, il family photo sessions}
“Instructions for living a life.
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.”
― Mary Oliver
To the mamas who are stronger than they think…
a month of mamas: day 14 {oak park, il family photo sessions}
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
― Lao Tzu
To the mamas who always have time for extra cuddles and one more book…
a month of mamas: day 13 {oak park, il photographer}
“Without you there would be no me.
I am everything reflected in your eyes.
I am everything approved by your smile.
I am everything born of your guidance.
I am me only because of you.”
― Richelle E. Goodrich
To one of the sweetest mamas I know…
a month of mamas: days 11 & 12 {oak park, il photo sessions}
“When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day”
― Sam Ewing
This quote makes me laugh out loud…or LOL, as the kids say (geez…I’m old).
Today is the 1 day of the year when we are to celebrate moms. They are the people who literally bring us into the world…givers of life. They are usually the first to wipe our asses, wipe our tears, clean up all our messes, and then eventually teach us to do these things for ourselves.
Looking back, I don’t know how good of a job I did to celebrate my own mom. I probably made cards or crappy gifts, but I don’t recall it being a big to-do in our home. My memory is shit though, so hopefully I’m just misremembering. My mom would probably say that I’m misremembering, but that’s because she is too nice to say that we were self-centered assholes (to our faces, at least).
Because I’m surrounded by amazing mamas, I know that too often this day is a disappointment. I hear so many stories and they can all be summed up by this:
We don’t feel special. We don’t feel thought of or appreciated. We hope for a magical or, at the very least, semi-planned day.
Year after year, we feel let down by it all. Our feelings are hurt because it wasn’t what we expected it to be.
There are tons of places where you can read about the mental load that mother’s carry and so we hope that on this one day…JUST FOR TODAY…that we won’t have to plan & help execute the day to celebrate ourselves.
I’m going to propose a radical idea.
Ask for what your want and BE SPECIFIC…I know this loosely falls under “planning our day” but hear me out…
Even though my family has always had cards, flowers, and gifts for me, I’m often left feeling underappreciated. I’ve struggled with this and found myself feeling all the things from anger to sadness to guilt.
This year, I decided to go a different direction. I actually told my husband what I wanted and I was very specific:
let me sleep in. anything past 7am is considered a win.
make breakfast tacos & please do so before 10am so I don’t get hangry. PS: clean up your kitchen mess…
no obligatory gifts that feel forced. I can tell when you went out the night before & panic shopped.
if you must gift me something, a gift of experience is preferred. A massage, pedicure, or even a couple of hours alone would be delightful. Bonus: that last one doesn’t cost a thing!
So far he has stayed the course. I slept in and then I had delicious breakfast tacos. I got a few handmade cards and a beautiful handmade gift from Oliver (a ceramic replica of our home), and a gift card for a spa day.
And now all 3 of them are leaving the house…
To all the mamas, caregivers, and aunties out there…may you feel appreciated and loved today and ALL THE DAYS ❤️
Word to your mother!
a month of mamas: day 10 {oak park family photographer}
“Perhaps it takes courage to raise children..”
― John Steinbeck
To the mamas overflowing with love…
a month of mamas: day 9 {oak park, il photo sessions}
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”
― Robert A. Heinlein
To the mamas adding to their stories…
a month of mamas: day 8 {oak park, il photo sessions}
“So how on earth can I bring a child into the world, knowing that such sorrow lies ahead, that it is such a large part of what it means to be human?
I'm not sure. That's my answer: I'm not sure.”
― Anne Lamott
To the mamas whose kids are grown and raising children of their own…
a month of mamas: day 7 {oak park, il photo sessions}
“I think that the best thing we can do for our children is to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong, allow them to experience life on their own terms, allow them to take the subway... let them be better people, let them believe more in themselves.”
― C. JoyBell C
To the mamas just starting out and the mamas who’ve been doing it for years…
Photo sessions make great gifts… or treat yo self!
Book your session now: Find My Session!
a month of mamas: day 6 {oak park, il photographer}
“my mother
is pure radiance.
she is the sun
i can touch
and kiss
and hold
without
getting burnt.”
― Sanober Khan
To the tough mamas who make it look easy…
Photo sessions make great gifts… or treat yo self!
Book your session now: Find My Session!