“We tell ourselves stories in order to live.”
― Joan Didion
We are living in very strange times.
My immediate family has been homebound since March 12. Today is April 5.
I haven’t stepped foot in a public building (grocery store, retail shop, restaurant, etc) since March 11.
In the past 25 days I have:
- Had massive anxiety and panic attacks and trouble sleeping.
- Spent a lot of time watching movies with my family.
- Told my confused 7 year old to “carry the 1” while helping him with math.
- Had moments of pure hope & vision for what will eventually come and moments of pure terror for what is currently happening.
- Spent hours listening to music with the boys while they fall asleep (Bob Dylan, Dolly Parton, and Fleetwood Mac are favs).
- Walked to my studio 3 times to water plants and do a general check to make sure that everything is ok. Since my business is not considered essential, the studio is closed for business and I am essentially unemployed (temporarily).
- Gone for (almost) daily walks with the dog, the boys, and the husband. On my walks, I typically stay pretty close to home and I am hyper aware of keeping my distance and the distance of my boys far from other people.
Another thing that I do on my walks is carry my camera. Yes, I do. This is absolutely nothing new. Anybody who knows me will tell you that I almost always carry my camera…on walks, visits to friends homes, a night out, etc…
I say this because during this unimaginable time in our lives, you will see me continue to post photos. Some of them may be from months ago. Some may be from yesterday. Many will be of my children. Some may include neighbors…on their porches or inside their homes, who I encounter on my walks.
About 4 weeks ago, when we found out that our state was advising the public to self-distance and stay home, I started imagining what daily life would look like. A friend reached out and pitched an idea about taking photos during this time & I admitted to her that I had already sort of been planning something but needed to work on the details.
I sent an email to clients and friends and pitched my idea to gauge interest & there was a lot of interest. I even started getting inquiries from people who I didn’t know. I was excited by the idea of having a project to keep my mind busy…
Less than a week after I sent my email, the state ordered all non-essential people to “shelter in place”, restaurants were ordered to close dine-in options (allowing delivery & pick up only), and eventually, the mayor shut down parks and the lakefront in Chicago. (Side note: Lori Lightfoot’s disappointment in the people of her city and the memes that followed have been a high point during this shit sandwich)
So, why am I posting this? I wanted to share with everyone what is going on (or, you know…the few people who read my blog posts…LOL) and why I haven’t followed up regarding my photo project.
For the safety and well-being of everyone:
I am not currently able to work. I am not currently able to book sessions. I am not currently able to take new clients. I am not currently able to move forward with this project.
Many people have asked me why I can’t move forward…assuming that if I keep my distance then it’s technically ok & I tend to lean in that direction myself. But. I do not want to risk my business on a technicality.
If you’ve been watching the news, then you are probably aware that porch sessions are a huge trend that is currently happening: The Front Steps Project or Front Porch Project or other similar names. Many photographers have been participating in this project. They have gotten news coverage & raised money for great causes & I do not wish to say anything negative to or about these people.
If you’re a photographer, then you also probably know that MANY photographers are upset about this project, to the point that it is being mentioned repeatedly in post after post in Facebook groups and blogs. Many of the posts are trying to “educate” others on all the reasons why it’s a bad idea but a lot of the posts I’m seeing seem to devolve into bullying and condescension. What started as an effort to help others understand all the ways they might be hurting their business and the photo community has turned into passive-aggressive shaming and I’m not interested in being part of it.
At this time, we are still allowed (and encouraged) to go outdoors for exercise and fresh air. As someone who suffers from seasonal affective disorder and with anxiety, getting outside is crucial for my well being. As long as I am still safely able to do so, I will continue to go on walks with my family and I will probably have my camera with me…and if I see you out and about, I will probably offer an overly enthusiastic wave and I might turn my camera on you for a hot second…
During these incredibly uncertain and scary times, I prefer to look for the helpers and the good things that are happening around me.
I don’t know what tomorrow or next week or next month will look like for my family or my business and I appreciate everyone who has reached out to me and continues to support me.
Be well, friends.
